In a recent episode of 60s themed adver-drama Mad Men, all of the men were going gaga for Ann-Margret’s opening number in Bye Bye Birdy. The quirky, girlish musical number had such impact and appeal that a client requested a shot for shot remake for their soon-to-be-announced artificially sweetened diet drink Patio (AKA Diet Pepsi). Well, it would appear that Ann-Margret’s tastes skewed a little north of Madison Avenue, as illustrated by this two and a half minute ‘song’ (really she’s just speaking gibberish over a looping jingle) for Canada Dry. Choice lyrics include: I’m a soft drink expert, come fill my glass. Diet, try it. Glug glug glug glug glug. And the best bit of surrealist word association I’ve ever heard: “If you dig boots;
and name the suits.
Kinky things like lots of rings.
Girly shoes.
Temporary tattoos,
See through stuff—Man that’s tough!
Maxi! Mini! Mini skirts!
Beads! Beads! And sleavey shirts!
Ties, so big!
A fuzzy wig!
Now! Wow!
You’ve got taste in your eye!
For your tongue,
there’s nothing younger,
than Canada Dry!”